For too long, Western psychology has explored psychopathology without much inclusion of the positive aspects of being human, which may leave us with a dreary or grim sentiment of psychology. Fortunately, being interested in wellness, personal proliferation, and positive psychology is a growing trend.
In an attempt to explain things simply, there is often a distinction originated between positive and negative sentiments. Positive passions are considered to be pleasant feelings such as joy, amusement, desire, gratitude, or gratification. Negative passions may include nervousnes, exasperation, sadness, loneliness, anxiety, or other awkward or unwanted feelings.
While there is no consensus about how to define well-being, is often explained as the fact that there are positive sensations and the absence of negative ones. This is a simple way to differentiate between what uplifts us and what unsettles us. But there’s something about this simplistic view that unsettles me.
If we partition sensations into positive and negative ones, it creates a dualistic contemplate of our human emotions. If we believe that some feelings are negative, it’s almost impossible for our human psyche to not want to eliminate these “negative” ardours and hold on to the “positive” ones. As a answer, we’re likely to set up a tension in our psyche. We try to cling to what’s pleasant and develop an antipathy what’s unpleasant. According to Buddhist Psychology, it is this very clinging that creates suffering in our lives. This is not a formula for see rapture and well-being.
There are no passions that are bad or negative, but instead ones that are sometimes unpleasant, troublesome, or difficult to face and feel. If we want to enjoy more uplifting emotions, we don’t get there by propagandizing away, disavowing, or shunning the unpleasant ones. We only get there by creating a friendly infinite for the full range of our human experience. The itinerary toward internal agreement and wholeness requires that we find peace with the full range of our excitements rather than trying to get rid of the ones we consider unsavory.
Befriending All of Our Feelings
Since we are cabled with the fight, flight, freeze response, it’s not stunning that our bent would be to push away feelings that we suffer as threatening to our well-being. Fortunately, there is also something in us that can relate to our experience in a more tranquilize and set road. We have capacities necessary to generating mindfulness to whatever we happen to be experiencing, whether pleasant or embarrassing.
One key to well-being is to honor and abide ourselves as well. This symbolizes moving room for our human experience just as it is without evaluating ourselves. In Eugene Gendlin’s Focusing coming, what helps us to create a shift in our inner scenery is move toward holding unpleasant experiences in a gentle, attending behavior. Gendlin announced this approach the “Focusing attitude.” It is an attitude or orientation of kindness and friendliness toward whatever we’re know-how inside.
The next time you notice feelings such as sadness, tension, reproach, or hurt , notice how you relate to these feelings. Do you tend to push them apart? Do they feel overtaking? Before reacting or shutting down your feelings, try taking a moment to get grounded. Perhaps feel your feet on the anchor or look at something pleasant in your environment. Take a few slow, depth wheezes.
When you feel ground, see if you can bring some gentleness to what you’re noticing in your figure. If it’s a feeling you don’t want to get close to, see if you can deter that feeling at some interval from yourself; perhaps it’s ok to feel some part of the difficult feeling. If not, then really note how shocking or awkward this feeling is. You don’t have to go into it. Perhaps you can come back to it last-minute if you miss, or work with a therapist who can help you explore it.
By viewing feelings as pleasant or uncomfortable rather than positive or negative, you might be more lowered to welcome them and explore them rather than cling to them or try to get rid of them. Unpleasant feelings tend to pass as we make room for them rather than hearing them as an antagonist. Loving yourself wants allowing your feelings to be just as they are. And we could all use a little more self-love.
Read more: psychcentral.com