Unlock Tonight’s Ultimate Pleasure: Expert-Approved Lesbian and Queer Sex Positions That Will Transform Your Intimacy Game
Ever find yourself cycling through the same sex positions, even when things are sizzling hot—and wondering if there’s something new to spice up your queer love life? Believe me, you’re not alone . . . The good news? There are more queer and lesbian sex positions than you’ll find people proudly rocking rainbows at Pride! From gentle caresses to adventurous strap-on play, the possibilities for pleasure are as vast and varied as the community itself. But with so many options, it can still feel a bit overwhelming to pick what to try next. That’s why I’m excited to share 30 creative, pleasure-packed moves, backed by expert tips from sex educators who truly get queer desire. Ready to level up your playbook? Let’s dive in and discover that perfect position (or ten!) that makes your heart—and your body—sing. LEARN MORE
25 min readEven if you’re having your best queer sex of your life (multiple orgasms, anyone?), it’s natural to get a little tired of the sex positions you’ve got in rotation. Thankfully, there are even more queer and lesbian sex positions than there are people decked in rainbow at your average Pride parade.
This is because lesbian sex—and sex in general, really—can involve literally any act or configuration that brings pleasure to one or more pleasure seekers who are who lesbian or queer, says Rachel Wright, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist in New York. “Sex can be any meaningful act of pleasure,” she explains, which means “a lesbian sex position is any position someone lesbian or otherwise queer might find themselves in.”
As freeing that may be to hear, however, it can still be hard to come up with new, creative sex positions to try. So, here to the rescue are 30 queer and lesbian sex positions, featuring tips and tricks from sex educators who work primarily with queer folks.
Ahead, you’ll find position variations for fingering and oral sex, scissoring and strap-on play, anal stimulation, mutual masturbation, and more. So whether you’re lesbian or bisexual, queer or questioning, trans or cis, kinky or vanilla, solo or partnered, or anywhere in between, you’ll find a position (or ten!) that works for you.
At Women’s Health, we aim to describe sexual experiences as inclusively as possible. While the positions on this list were chosen with lesbian couples in mind, they can be adapted by couples of all genders and sexual orientations and identities. We encourage readers to modify any position to suit their bodies, preferences, and needs. To avoid making assumptions about gender or anatomy, we use non-gendered language throughout this article. The “giving partner” or “giver” refers to the partner doing the penetrating, whether with a strap-on, fingers, or penis. The “receiving partner” or “receiver” refers to the partner being penetrated vaginally or anally.
1. The DJ
How to: The giver should trim and file their nails ahead of play to reduce the risk of scratching their partner. Then, when the receiver is ready, the giver can explore touching the external portion of their partner’s clitoris (the glans) on top of or below their underwear.
For the traditional DJ-style fingering technique, try moving your fingers back and forth against the clit (similar to how DJs stop a turntable from spinning, hence the name). Another option: Circle your finger clockwise/counterclockwise around or on the sensitive bulb, or even lightly pinch it.
If you don’t know what to do, ask your partner to show you how they masturbate, which will give you a one-on-one lesson on how they like to be touched on the most sensitive parts of their vulva. If that’s not an option, you can also cycle through a variety of different techniques, asking them to share when something feels good or less good.
Benefits: This external fingering sex position is all about giving the clitoris—which, ICYDK, has over 10,000 nerve endings (!!)—some love. As a stand-alone move, the DJ can lead to plenty of pleasure, says Gigi Engle, sex and relationships psychotherapist and author of Kink Curious. But it can also serve as a toe-curling stop on the way to penetrative play with fingers, toys, or other body parts. Either way, clitoral stimulation increases blood flow to the genitals and can trigger the release of feel-good neurochemicals throughout the body, Engle says, “so the vulva, clitoris, and nervous system all benefit.”
Make it hotter: Don’t underestimate how much better all of this can feel with a squirt of your favorite lubricant. “Lube helps reduce friction and allows for more comfort, especially for people dealing with dryness, pelvic pain, or dysphoria,” says Jesse Kahn, LCSW-R, a sex therapist in New York.
2. The Finger Bang
How to: In the event that your partner enjoys the sensation of penetration, consider adding a little internal fingering into the mix. There isn’t necessarily a “right” or “wrong” way to finger a vagina, says Wright, since every person has different preferences.
A good rule of thumb (pun intended) is to start slowly, inserting just one finger at a time and checking in with the receiver to make sure they’re comfortable with the amount of penetration. Then, you can experiment with a range of rhythms and speeds, while continuing to check in with the receiver about what feels good.
Benefits: Whether your partner likes feeling full or being stretched, or having specific areas like the G-spot (along the front vaginal wall) or the A-spot (towards the back by the cervix) stimulated, the Finger Bang delivers, Wright says. That’s because how many fingers you use, as well as their angle, speed, and provided pressure, can all be modulated to suit your partner’s preferences, says Engle.
Make it hotter: Consider incorporating a finger vibrator: “These small wearable vibrators can add lots of amazing vibration, without being too aggressively large” impeding skin-to-skin contact, Engle says.
3. The G-Spot Massage
How to: The receiving partner lies on their back. Then, the giver can “insert two fingers in the vaginal opening and flick upwards in a circular motion,” Engles says. If the receiver is adequately aroused, you should find a walnut-sized patch of tissue at the back of the pelvic bone. This “can feel slightly spongier or more textured than the surrounding tissues,” says Casey Tanner, sex therapist and author of Feel It All.
Once the giver finds the G-spot, they can experiment with using different rhythms and pressures to massage it, according to Engle. Many people respond to their partner caressing their G-spot with a “come hither” motion, but the giver should always check in with the receiver to figure out what feels best.
Benefits: Let the official record show that the G-spot is real, and that stimulating it with fingers can feel otherworldly. In fact, because fingers can curve and apply pressure more easily and aggressively than other body parts can, some people find G-spot orgasms are only possible with fingers or G-spot vibrators.
Make it hotter: Once again, the slippery stuff is a sure-fire way to level up your hand sex, according to Tanner. It will allow the giver’s fingers to glide more easily against the gland, and make prolonged play more pleasurable, they say.
Oh, and once you get the hang of your rhythm, don’t shy away from adding in other erogenous zones: “G-spot stimulation can be pleasurable on its own, but it is most likely to lead to orgasm when paired with clitoral stimulation, kissing, nipple play, and/or dirty talk,” says Tanner.
4. Mutual Masturbation
How to: Side by side? Head to toe? Seated on different sides of the living room? When it comes to mutual masturbation, the world is your oyster. Discuss your comfort levels with being seen, as well as your solo sex position preferences, and then arrange your bodies accordingly.
Benefits: Mutual masturbation takes a solo activity and transforms it into a team sport replete with lots of pleasure—plus, a little education. “It can be a great way to open up communication and discuss wants, needs, pleasures, and desires with your partner,” says Aleece Fosnight, a physician assistant specializing in sexual medicine and women’s health in Asheville, North Carolina.
This is an especially good option for folks who have just undergone bottom surgery and can’t (yet) receive penetration, as well as anyone who finds penetration uncomfortable, Fosnight says.
Make it hotter: With a certain bedside buddy you can infuse this option with all the joys of oral sex. Depending on the shape and size of your anatomy, Tanner recommends either a clitoral suction toy or motorized stroker, both of which feel best—and most like oral sex—when used with a water-based lube.
5. The Plus One
How to: For this techy twist on mutual masturbation, spend some time getting one another good and turned on via kissing, neck-licking, and nipple and chest stimulation. Then, lather each other up with water-based lube and then reach for your own toy. As you bask in your individual buzz, enjoy the visual of your lover, too.
Benefits: Making a vibrator the star of the show can take pressure off performance, says Tanner. “Partners get to stop worrying about what they ‘should’ be doing, and instead focus on the sensations they’re experiencing.” FYI: Those toy-induced sensations are pretty darn different from what you typically feel during solo or partnered hand sex. Experiencing them at the same time as a partner can feel very intimate, Tanner adds.
Make it hotter: Maintaining eye contact or narrating what you’re feeling can help make this parallel play position feel even more connected.
6. Spooning
How to: Assume the spooning position with both partners on their sides, facing the same direction. The big spoon can reach around to stimulate the little spoon’s genitals with their hands or a powerful vibrator. If both parties want to add in a little penetration, the big spoon can also enter the little spoon with their strap-on, dildo, penis, or fingers.
Benefits: Spooning sex is widely known as one of the coziest, comfiest, and most intimate sex positions for a reason: “It creates a ton of physical closeness and access to each other’s bodies without requiring a bunch of energy,” says Tanner. That makes this position an accessible option for people with strength or mobility limitations, as well as those with chronic pain or fatigue. “It’s also highly adaptable for fat and plus-size folks,” Tanner adds.
And while spooning can work well for penetrative sex—yes, strap-on spooning is a thing—it’s also a great position for external stimulation of the front partner’s genitals with a hand or a vibrator with a long handle, like the Magic Wand Rechargeable.
Make it hotter: Repurpose your pillow to make this already-comfy position even more so. “The front partner can place a pillow between their knees to reduce hip and low-back strain,” says Tanner. Or, they can position it higher up to spread their hips and create more room for the back partner’s hands, toys, or a strap.
7. Digital Doggy
How to: The receiving partner gets on all fours while the giving partner kneels behind them. From here, the giver can use their fingers or a sex toy to penetrate the receiver.
Benefits: Do you enjoy the primal feel of from-behind sex? Does the lack of eye contact allow you to fulfill a particular fantasy? Do rear-entry positions help you hit that perfect spot? If you answered yes to any of these questions, this move does all that and more. “It also allows for both [partners] to have control over depth, while also adding to the intimacy,” Fosnight says.
Make it hotter: The angle of the receiver’s pelvis dramatically impacts where the giver’s tool stimulates internally, says Engle. The receiving partner should move through the cat and cow positions (yes, the ones from yoga), to find the angle that tickles their fancy.
8. The Pretzel Dip
How to: The receiving partner lies on their side, with their top knee drawn towards their chest and the bottom leg straight out. Then, the giver straddles the receiver’s bottom leg, with one knee on either side of their thigh. From here, the giving partner can penetrate the receiving partner with their fingers or a toy, or just grind.
Benefits: “It’s a position that can be enjoyed for penetration or non-penetrative stimulation,” says Joy Berkheimer, PhD, LMFT, a psychotherapist and sexologist in Boca Raton, Florida. It’s particularly good for people who enjoy a lot of pressure against their genitals when they masturbate, she adds, as the giving partner can grind into the receiving partner’s thigh for increased stimulation.
Make it hotter: If the receiving partner enjoys penetrative sex, the bottom partner can don a thigh harness (like this one from Sportsheets). “Thigh harnesses can feel more secure and supportive than boxer-style harnesses, especially during longer play sessions,” says Kahn. They are also a fab workaround for those who have hip injuries or other mobility limitations that make traditional pelvis harnesses a no-go.
9. Face-Sitting
How to: The giving partner lies down in a comfortable position on their back, keeping a pillow for additional neck support within reach. Next, the receiver straddles the giver’s face, aligning their genitals with their partner’s mouth. From here, they can experiment with different hip angles until they find something that feels good. For some added fun, the person performing oral sex could put on a wearable vibrator or masturbate.
Benefits: Face-sitting, sometimes known as queening, is an oral sex position that involves one partner popping a squat right onto their sweetie’s mouth below (much like they’re riding a throne). The setup gives the receiving partner the opportunity to control the angle, pressure, and rhythm of stimulation, Debra Laino, DHS, a sexologist and author of The Missing Link previously told Women’s Health. Meanwhile, the giver gets a tremendous view.
Pro tip: “Almost all oral sex positions become better when people are comfortable and prioritize using supports to make it all easier and more comfy,” says Engle. That’s why she suggests that the rider utilizes a nearby headboard, head rest, or wall for extra support, and to help distribute their body weight.
In the event that the top partner has a disability or strength limitations, there is a size differential between both partners, or the bottom partner has neck issues, a sex chair can also be helpful.
10. Reverse Face-Sitting
How to: The partner performing cunnilingus, fellatio, or analingus lies on their back with the receiving partner straddling their mouth, facing their feet. From here, the top partner can use their hands or a sex toy to stimulate the bottom partner’s genitals, or watch as they touch themselves. Trust, it’s a visually enticing position in all directions.
Benefits: This oral sex position—sometimes known as the reverse queen—offers many of the same benefits as regular ‘ole face-sitting, but from a new perspective.
Make it hotter: Once in position, the receiver can lean forward as they would for 69-ing (more on this ahead) so they can use their hands to stimulate the giver’s genitals. Or, they might reach for a sex toy with a long handle, like a wand vibrator, which will allow them to stimulate their partner’s clit as they get eaten out, says Engle.
11. Classic 69
How to: One partner lies down on their back while the other partner climbs on top of them, facing the opposite direction. Shimmy up or down so that your genitals are lined up with each other’s mouths. Your bodies should create the illusion of the number the position is named for: 69. (Get it?)
Benefits: The 69 sex position is an equal-opportunity oral sex position that can be done with duos of any gender or genital combination, says Engle. Because other partners are in giving and receiving roles simultaneously, this position creates an immersive sensory experience—especially if you or your boo are vocal.
Make it hotter: 69-ing requires a fair amount of tongue endurance, so don’t be afraid to switch things up. “Normalize letting hands and toys take over periodically so your mouths get a break,” says Tanner. “This can make sex better because they keep everyone present instead of quietly pushing through discomfort.”
12. Sideways 69
How to: Both partners lie on their sides but facing opposite directions, with their top legs lifted for easy access. From here, the partners stimulate one another’s genitals with their lips and tongues.
Benefits: “Neck strain and discomfort for the giver is very common during most oral sex positions, as the head is tilted upward for long periods,” says Engle. But that’s not the case with sideways 69, which is a more relaxed, spoon-adjacent configuration, she says. This is an especially good option for partners who are different sizes, as well as those with underlying neck, wrist mobility, or strength limitations that make classic 69 uncomfortable.
Make it hotter: Having a sex toy (or two) within reach is a good move if someone finds it tricky to multitask. Positioning a sex toy, after all, tends to require less focus than flicking your tongue.
13. The Wide Swipe
How to: The receiver lies on their back, with their knees up toward their chest and legs spread wide. Next, the giver extends their tongue out of their mouth, keeping it wide and flat, and slowly licks their partner from their perineum (a.k.a. taint) all the way up to their clitoris. Then, repeat over and over and over again.
Benefits: Put simply, it can feel heckin’ good. As far as oral sex is concerned, the genitals typically get all the attention, but there’s a hot spot located just South—called the taint—which is jam-packed with nerves. Using your tongue to lick from this place all the way up to your partner’s clit, while applying different pressures, “can make for an awe-inspiring orgasmic experience,” says Berkheimer.
14. Analingus
How to: When you’ve gotten the green light to head around back, use your mouth to experiment with a range of stimulation types, including gentle kisses, long, loving licks, and curious circles around the entrance of anus. You can even poke your tongue in and out of the hole.
Benefits: Whether you call it rimming, salad tossing, butt motor-boating, or some other euphemism altogether, the cold, hard (read: hot, hot, hot) fact is that analingus deserves a place in your lesbian sex position toolbox. “The anal region is no different than any other erogenous zone, in that it is an amazing plexus of positive and pleasurable nerve endings that can respond well to oral stimulation,” says Evan Goldstein, DO, an anal surgeon and author of Butt Seriously. Plus, anal sex of any kind can still feel a little taboo to most folks, which may add to its arousal factor.
Pro tip: Decide wayyy ahead of time whether you’ll be using a dental dam to decrease risk of STI transmission, as well as what other anal sex preparations you’ll each require to minimize both discomfort and anxiety, which ultimately maximizes pleasure.
Make it hotter: Once you get going, vary your technique and use your partner’s verbal and non-verbal cues to figure out which to stick with, says Goldstein. “Try lapping the hole like you’re trying to finish a melting ice cream cone, as well as sweeping a flat tongue over the entrance in long strokes.”
15. Lotus
How to: One partner sits with their legs criss-crossed on the ground, or in bed with the headboard behind them for comfort and support. The other partner sits in their lap, then wraps their legs around the first partner’s back. From here, partners are chest-to-chest in a seated hugging position. The bottom partner can penetrate the top partner and/or both partners can use their hands and mouths to stimulate whatever’s within reach—each other’s genitals, chest, or nipples, as well as their neck, ears, and other sensitive, above-the-belt erogenous zones.
Benefits: Sometimes also known as Yab Yum, “the Lotus is an intimate position,” says Fosnight, because “it allows for deep eye contact, which is ideal for a connection beyond the physical.”
16. The Hot Seat
How to: This position gets you out of the bedroom and into the living room, dining room, or any other place you have a sofa or sturdy chair. The giving partner sits down on said chair or couch, with their torso supported by the backrest and feet on the ground. The receiving partner straddles them, with one foot on either side of their waist, or with feet wrapped around their back, if the chair setup allows. From here, everything from kissing and nipple stimulation to toy play and penetration are on the table.
Benefits: “The hot seat position can feel especially hot because it combines physical closeness with visual and emotional connection,” says Engle. “The setup allows both people to easily communicate, make eye contact, kiss, and stay responsive to each other’s reactions in real time, which is a kind of feedback loop that can heighten arousal significantly.”
Pro tip: Before getting hot and heavy, check the weight limit of the chair. When in doubt, stick to the sofa, which tends to have a higher weight limit. You might also want to lay down a sex blanket, so you don’t have to stress about making a mess of the upholstery and can instead focus on pleasure.
17. Strap-On Missionary
How to: First, the penetrating partner puts on a pelvic harness and dildo. Once they’re ready, the receiving partner lies on their back, legs spread. From here, the strapped partner gets on top so that both people are eye-to-eye before sliding inside.
Benefits: Broadly speaking, strap-on sex is any sex that involves a harness and dildo (also known as a strap-on kit). Strap-on missionary is exactly what it sounds like: the classic penetrative position performed with a store-bought shaft. “If you’re the one wearing the strap-on, it’s a pretty good position to maneuver your body in,” says Engle. Plus, you’re also face-to-face, which makes this a great position for eye contact and allows for easy understanding of both verbal and non-verbal communication cues.
Make it hotter: Optional for vaginal penetration but necessary for anal penetration is to place a sex pillow under the bottom partner’s hips for easier entry.
18. Deep Dildo Impact
How to: The receiving partner lies on their back while the penetrating partner kneels in front of them. Then, the receiver places their ankles on their partner’s shoulders, while the giver uses the strap-on to penetrate their partner vaginally. The giving partner can also hold the receiver’s legs for leverage and adjust the angle of penetration by leaning forward or back.
Benefits: Hitting your spots is the name of the game for this strap-on sex position. “Deep impact is fantastic for exploring both the G-spot and A-spot,” says Berkheimer. “If the receiver prefers shallow penetration and G-spot stimulation, lean back to lessen the depth.” However, if they prefer deeper penetration, lean all the way in, she adds.
Make it hotter: If you have access to multiple dildos, experiment with each. Variations in girth, length, texture, material, and density can greatly impact the sensations the toy provides, as well as which erogenous zones get targeted.
19. Rider On Top
How to: The receiver straddles the giver, who is laying down with their back propped. The bottom partner stays still, while the person on top figures out the speed, angle, and depth that feels best.
Benefits: If you are new(er) to vaginal penetration or have a neo-vagina—which is a vagina created through a specific type of bottom surgery—Fosnight recommends exploring vaginal penetration in this position. Why? Because the rider is in total control of the rhythm and depth, and can easily adjust if they feel discomfort or pain.
Make it hotter: To up the odds of finding what feels best, the top partner shouuld experiment with pelvic tilt and chest position, says Fosnight. Some people also find it easier to relax during penetration when they feel emotionally and physically connected to their partner, which a chest-to-chest setup can naturally encourage, Engle adds.
20. Bull Rider On Top
How to: A more intense variation of Rider on Top, this position has the rider place their feet—rather than their knees—on each side of their partner’s hips. Once fully penetrated, the receiving partner can lean back to intensify the sensations.
Benefits: “At this angle, the penetration can be intense, especially if the natural curvature of the insertive partner’s penis or strap-on faces up, which will be a direct hit for the prostate or A-zone,” says Goldstein. “The sensations of this one can be especially mind-blowing.”
Make it hotter: Consider enjoying oral as warm-up for this penetrative position. Lavishing licks on your partner’s front genitals can help increase arousal, ultimately making vaginal penetration more pleasurable when it eventually occurs, says Engle.
If you’re utilizing this position for anal play—yep, it’s possible—Goldstein suggests beginning with analingus. “Rimming is an excellent entry point to additional anal play,” he says. “Because it’s so gentle, it tends to put the mind and body at ease, which can keep the nervous system from guarding against any anal insertion later on in the sex session.”
21. Side-Lying Lover
How to: The partner receiving penetration should lie on their side with their bottom leg extended and top leg bent. The other partner should also lie on their side, facing them. From there, partners can explore internal or external stimulation, body-only or toy play, depending on what feels good for everyone involved.
Benefits: “Side-lying lover is ideal for slow, intimate, sexy time and is perfect for all body types and levels of flexibility,” says Fosnight. While it’s ultra-versatile, it may be an especially good option for folks who recently had a vaginoplasty, says Sarah Bellon, DPT, a pelvic floor physical therapist in Sherman Oaks, California. When you’re exploring vaginal penetration for the first time after surgery, “positions that encourage you to relax your hips and pelvic floor may be the most comfortable,” she explains. And resting on your side can do just that.
22. Lifted Missionary
How to: The receiving partner lies on their back with a sex pillow or sex wedge under their hips. The giving partner straddles them and slowly enters their body with a strap-on, finger(s), or body-safe sex toy. They can also use an external sex toy with a long hand, like a wand vibrator, to stimulate the receiver’s clit.
Benefits: “This allows for optimal angle of penetration,” says Fosnight. In particular, this option is great for those with neo-vaginas, she says, as it allows for them to find the most pleasurable depth while also allowing for face-to-face contact (and the intimacy and non-verbal communication that eye contact provides).
Make it hotter: If you’re into BDSM—or curious about it—here’s some good news: The elevated-hip setup can make the receiving partner feel especially open, which naturally lends itself to power exchange play, says Engle. You can make it feel even kinkier by adding in additional elements like restraint, sensory play, anticipation, and praise, she adds. If you enjoy restraint, consider investing in a sex pillow with built-in restraints, like the Liberator Bondage Wedge Sex Pillow.
These things shouldn’t be added in willy-nilly. Beforehand, talk to your partner about whether you want the encounter to feel devotional, bratty, demanding, worshipful, playful, or super intense, says Engle. This will help you come to a shared agreement about what kind of dirty talk, toys, and restraints you want to add in and how, she says.
23. Strap-On Blow Job
How to: The receiver dons their strap-on, and then partners assume the standard oral missionary position, which will be comfortable for everyone. From here, the giving partner can get mouthy, using their tongue, lips, teeth, and hands to work the dildo in whatever ways feel pleasurable and affirming to all involved.
Benefits: “It can be gender-affirming for the receiver, as well as a splendid visual feast,” says Carol Queen, PhD, sexologist and co-author of The Sex & Pleasure Book: Good Vibrations Guide to Great Sex for Everyone. Plus, it can help satisfy all of the giver’s oral fixation needs.
Make it hotter: The giver shouldn’t shy away from using their hands: “The motion will rock the dildo into the partner’s genitals in a way that feels good, while giving their own mouth a break,” says Queen.
For even more sensation, consider using a minimalist harness that allows for direct contact between the dildo base and receiver’s pubic mound. There are also dildos specifically designed for blow jobs, like the Form Function BJ Dildo, which have a unique hole from the toy’s tip to base that can create a suction-like sensation on the receiver’s genitals.
24. Thigh Harness Hoorah
How to: Be it in their wheelchair, couch, or favorite chair, the giver should harness up and take a seat. From there, the receiver should straddle their thigh facing either towards or away from them, and ride just as they might a mechanical bull at a dive bar.
Benefits: Thigh harnesses can feel more stable for marathon sex sessions than pelvic harnesses, says Kahn. They also allow the giver to penetrate their partner hands-free right from the comfort of their chair, as well as enabling people with hip and other mobility limitations to strap up.
Pro tip: There are a wider range of harness types than you might expect, so take a beat to consider which is best for you before adding one to cart. The SportSheets Ultra Thigh Strap-On, for example, has a single hole for a single dildo, while the SportSheets Dual Penetration Thigh Strap-On, has two for a little double penetration (DP) action. Most important is to check the sizing and measurements of the harness to make sure it will fit the circumference of your leg.
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25. Strapless Strap Fun
How to: If the giver is not using a harness with their strapless strap-on, they should lie on their back and assume the missionary sex position, says Queen. (Gravity is not your friend as far as strap-on play is concerned, she warns.) From here, the other partner can assume the rider on top position.
Benefits: For the unfamiliar, strapless strap-ons are double-ended dildos that are designed to fill the giver and receiver at the same time, says Queen. Typically, one side is short and squat and shaped in such a way that it ‘locks into’ the wearer’s vaginal canal, while the other side looks like a traditional dildo.
This position is ideal in relationships where both partners enjoy penetration, as it allows internal stimulation to occur simultaneously. Additionally, this position can feel intensely connective since your genitals usually meet in the middle.
Make it hotter: You can add vibration into this position by investing in a motorized pick like the Lovely Planet Vibrating Strapless Strap or the Lovense Lapis. But you can also upgrade whatever strapless strap you already own by sliding a vibrating cock ring onto one of its shafts, which will distribute vibrations throughout that both partners can feel.
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26. Harness-Free Hand Job
How to: One partner should use a dab of water-based lubricant to slide the short end of a double-sided dildo inside themselves. Next, their partner can use one or two hands to give a killer hand job.
Benefits: This strapless strap-on position is as visually arousing as it is physically arousing! Pulling on the portion of the double-ended dildo that extends from the wearer’s body will inadvertently rock the internal arm against their front vaginal wall (a.k.a. G-zone), which generally responds well to the exact pressure that provides, says Queen.
As an added bonus, some people find the sensation of having their shaft played with gender-affirming.
Pro tip: If you don’t have a double-ended dildo, give this position a whirl by having the receiver strap-on a single-ended option. “With each hand movement, the base of the single-sided dildo can press and rock onto their partner’s [genitals] in a way that can feel good,” says Queen. “Some people find this feels best when the base is also lubed.”
27. Scissoring
How to: Both partners lie down so you’re toe-to-head. Next, each person opens their legs and moves toward each other until you’re crotch-to-crotch. (You should look like two pairs of opened scissors coming together and meeting at the apex). From here, enjoy the different sensations of grinding, rubbing, or thrusting.
Benefits: Scissoring is a grinding sex position that allows both people to press their genitals flush against the other’s. As intimate as it sounds, “the genital-to-genital contact is very arousing and can enhance not only the physical pleasure, but the emotional arousal as well,” Peter Kanaris, PhD, a psychologist and sex therapist in Smithtown, New York, previously told Women’s Health.
Make it hotter: With its long handle and bulbous head, a wand vibrator—two, actually—is a great addition here when you’re both craving rumbly vibrations.
28. Side Scissoring
How to: Both partners lie on their sides, facing each one another with their legs intertwined. From here, partners can move up or down to best align their genitals, or to allow for some thigh-grinding action.
Benefits: Like the idea of genital-to-genital bumping and rubbing, but hoping to get a little more face-to-face action than the classic scissoring position allows? Fosnight suggests this variation: “Being side-by-side is ideal for slow, intimate, sexy time and is perfect for all body types and levels of flexibility.”
Make it hotter: Introduce internal stimulation to Side Scissor with a U-shaped double-ended dildo like the Blush Rusé Slim Silicone Double Dildo or the Colours DP Pleasures Silicone Realistic Dildo, which can penetrate two people at once, suggests Queen. “Double-ended dildos like these are pretty flexible, which means they can be used for a variety of positions, but scissoring positions are usually best and easiest,” she says.
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29. Missionary Anal
How to: The receiving partner lies on their back with a pillow under their hips or their knees pulled in towards their chest. Next, the penetrating partner should lavish the area in anal lube before sliding inside.
Benefits: Because of its face-to-face configuration, “missionary is a great beginner anal position for anyone who is craving intimacy,” says Goldstein. As a bonus, it is incredibly customizable in that it can be executed with fingers, a hand-held dildo, strap-on, or any other anal-safe sex toy. (FYI: A toy is only considered anal-safe if it has a flared base that will keep the toy firmly rooted outside of the body.)
Make it hotter: Nearly as much as lube, angle is the name of the game with anal sex. So, “once the insertive partner is comfortably inside, the receiving partner can adjust the height of their legs up or down to play with fit, angle, and sensations,” says Goldstein. The receiver can also try pulling their knees to their chest or asking the penetrating partner to hold one or both of their feet in the air, which can allow for a smoother angle, he adds.
30. Rear-Entry Rider On Top
How to: The receiving partner straddles the giving partner, similar to how they would for the classic cowgirl position. When properly aroused and lubricated, the receiver can slide down onto the strap-on dildo, or any other anal-safe toy that the giver is holding at pelvic height.
Benefits: “This is one of the best positions to start exploring receptive anal sex as it puts the receiver in the most control over speed, depth, and angle,” says Goldstein. “It also allows for eye contact, which is intimate and is also ideal for good communication.”
Make it hotter: Rear-end rider on top not only allows the receiving partner to control the depth and speed of movement, but it’s also the ideal for stimulating the front genitals. The receiver can hold a bullet vibrator or wear a finger vibrator, both of which are small enough to keep from interfering with penetration but powerful enough to provide vibration, says Engle.
31. Muffing
How to: If you’re unfamiliar with the sex act, start by reading this 2010 zine written by trans sex educator Mira Bellwether, who coined the term. But if TL;DR? “Muffing is the act of inserting a lubricated finger into the inguinal canal,” says Bellon. The “inguinal canal” is the name for the shallow pockets in the lower abdominal walls behind the penis and scrotum. So, lube up a finger, locate the area, and gently finger it.
Benefits: While these pleasure zones can be hard to find, given that they are layered with flesh and skin, once found, some folks enjoy the sensation of having them pressed, penetrated, and otherwise pleasured. “It’s a great option for trans women who haven’t had bottom surgery who enjoy penetrative sex,” Bellon says.
Pro tip: Move slowly to keep things feeling gooood. “It’s important to not try to press too far into the canal or try to push through the inguinal ring,” says Bellon, as this will increase the risk of discomfort and even injury. “There is depth that it is easier to insert a finger, and once meeting resistance, that is where pressure should stop,” she says. Once you find the depth that feels good, stick to gentle, low-intensity movements.
Meet the Experts
- Rachel Wright, LMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist in New York and host of The Wright Conversations podcast. She specializes in working with queer, kinky, and non-monogamous folks.
- Gigi Engle is a COSRT-registered and GSRD-accredited sex and relationships psychotherapist and author of Kink Curious. She is an associate clinician at The Therapy Yard in London, where she specializes in working with GSRD (Gender, Sexuality, and Relationship Diverse) clients, including the LGBTQIA+ community, kinky folx, and the polyamorous and open community.
- Jesse Kahn, LCSW-R, is an AASECT-certified sex therapist and the founder and director of the Gender & Sexuality Therapy Center in New York.
- Casey Tanner is an AASECT-certified sex therapist, founder and CEO of The Expansive Group, a queer-centered therapy practice, and author of Feel It All. They are also the resident sex expert for Lelo, a sex toy company.
- Aleece Fosnight, MSPAS, PA-C, CSC-S, CSE, is a board-certified physician assistant specializing in sexual medicine, women’s health, and urology. She is the founder of the Fosnight Center for Sexual Health in Asheville, North Carolina.
- Joy Berkheimer, PhD, LMFT, is licensed marriage and family therapist and a sex therapist at Renew Yourself With Joy in Boca Raton, Florida.
- Sarah Bellon, PT, DPT, CLT, is a pelvic floor physical therapist with Femina Physical Therapy in Sherman Oaks, California.
- Carol Queen, PhD, is a sexologist and co-author of The Sex & Pleasure Book: Good Vibrations Guide to Great Sex for Everyone. She is also the staff sexologist for Good Vibes, an online sex toy retailer.
- Evan Goldstein, DO, is an anal surgeon, the founder of Bespoke Surgical in New York, and the author of Butt Seriously.
Gabrielle Kassel (she/her) is a sex and wellness journalist who writes at the intersection of queerness, sexual health, and pleasure. In addition to Women’s Health, her work has appeared in publications such as Shape, Cosmopolitan, Well+Good, Health, Self, Men’s Health, Greatist, and more! In her free time, Gabrielle can be found coaching CrossFit, reviewing pleasure products, hiking with her border collie, or recording episodes of the podcast she co-hosts called
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