Men's Health October 26, 2026 0 Comments

Carlin & Jed: The Untold Twist That Will Change Their Love Story Forever – Part 2 Revealed!

Ever wondered how love sneaks up on you when you least expect it—sometimes in the most unlikely places? Picture this: a martial arts dojo nestled in the charming town of Mill Valley, where a twice-divorced, emotionally bruised man crosses paths with a remarkable woman, sparking a romance that would defy time and expectations. On July 24, 2026, we celebrated Carlin’s 88th birthday, marking 46 years of marriage filled with lessons about love that run deeper than most. From the sweat and flow of Aikido practice to the tender dance of letting someone else lead, our journey shows that love’s timing and setting can flip your world upside down—in the best way. Ready to dive into how this unlikely love story unfolded and what it taught us about healing, growth, and connection? Let’s get into it. LEARN MORE

On July 24, 2026 we celebrated Carlin’s 88^th birthday. We joined family and friends at Willits-Fest, a celebration of music and a fundraiser for Willits Charter High School Performing Arts Program. Carlin and I have been married for 46 wonderful years. At this stage of life, we reflect on the lessons we’ve learned and what we’d like to pass on to our six grown children, seventeen grandchildren, and six great grandchildren.

For us, the greatest learning and lessons have been what we’ve learned about love. In Part 1, I talked about “the four marriages” and what we can learn about love from exploring our relationship with other people, our work in the world, our connection to ourselves, and with our tribe of humans. I talked about my first two marriages and why they each ended.

When I think about our love story and how I met Carlin and fell it love, I realize that the time and place make a big difference. Today, I would like to take you back to that day in 1980 when Carlin and I met at the Aikido dojo in Mill Valley. I was thirty-six years old in 1979 when I moved to Mill Valley. I had just returned from a tumultuous cross-county trip with my second wife which marked the end of our marriage, and I was in recovery mode.

Meeting someone new was the farthest thing from my mind. I felt exhausted from the ending of a long-term marriage and the rebound relationship that almost killed me.

Mill Valley is a beautiful town in Marin County across the bay from San Francisco. In the center of town is a plaza with a cute bookstore and coffee shop where I would eat lunch, read, and enjoy watching people — from a safe distance.

On a bulletin board outside the bookstore, I saw a poster advertising Aikido classes. The address of the dojo was just around the corner. I knew that Aikido some kind of martial arts practice but knew nothing else. Since it was close by, one day I went and watched a class.

I was entranced by the reverence of the teachers as they bowed to the picture of the founder, Morihei Ueshiba the legendary Japanese martial artist who founded Aikido. Practitioners and teachers worldwide affectionately refer to him as Ō-Sensei. I was drawn to the flowing energy of the practice.

The Mill Valley dojo was founded in 1976 by pioneers of the West Coast human potential movement — George Leonard, Richard Strozzi-Heckler, and Wendy Palmer.

I began coming for weekly classes and had been practicing for about a year when I met Carlin following one of the classes. She had met George Leonard when he taught a class in Carlin’s hometown of Portland, Oregon. Carlin was visiting a friend in Mill Valley. Her friend introduced us and a budding romance would soon begin.

Another aikido instructor who influenced my life was Terry Dobson. Terry studied in Japan for ten years with the founder, Morihei Uesiba, and offered guest classes on Wednesdays and Fridays at the Mill Valley dojo. I also had the great pleasure of getting private lessons from Terry at his apartment in San Francisco. He called it “kitchen-aiki.”

It’s a Lot Like Dancing: An Aikido Journey

In the book, It’s a Lot Like Dancing: An Aikido Journey, written by Terry Dobson and Ricki Moss, Terry shares wonderful stories and offers great insights into the core ideas about aikido practice. He describes the three aspects of the word aikido. “AI” means “to harmonize, to come into agreement” with “ki,” which is energy. “Do” is the way to do that, the way of harmonizing with energy.

Like learning to love, aikido forces us to look at ourselves, to see the truth of who we are — the good, the bad, and the ugly.

“Aikido makes you look at your impatience, your arrogance, your meanness, cruelty, clumsiness, cowardice — all those qualities in yourself that you may need to look at,” Dobson says. “It’ll show your bravery and compassion, love, joy, and sweetness, and it will show you those qualities other people.”

Terry quoted Morihei Ueshiba Osensei:

“True Budo is a work of love. It is a work of giving life to all beings and not killing or struggling with each other. Love is the guardian deity of everything. Nothing can exist without it. Aikido is the realization of love.”

Our Love Story Heats Up

Following the class where Carlin and I met, I was on my way to San Diego to participate in a weekend workshop led by the psychologist Jack Gibb. The workshops were called TORIs and were based on four interrelated concepts: Trust, Openness, Realization, and Interdependence.

The friend who had first introduced us at the aikido dojo suggested Carlin might be interested in going to the TORI and to my surprise she greeted me at the registration desk where I was registering people for the TORI weekend. I was pleased to see Carlin again, but I had no intention of becoming involved.

I was still in recovery mode from my past relationships and still feeling burned and bruised emotionally. Yet something changed through the weekend. And it was Carlin who made the first move.

“I’ve been dropping my hanky all weekend,” she told me with a mischievous smile. “And you seem oblivious. What’s going on?”

This was a new experience for me. All my life I’ve felt like the short, nerdy guy who all the good-looking girls ignored. If I ever was going to have a chance to get one of the good ones, I would have to work at, take the initiative, and do some kind of song and dance to impress them. I was rarely successful.

It had never occurred to me that a beautiful woman like Carlin would be interested in me enough to “keep dropping her hanky,” I really didn’t know what to do. I did get the message, which led to some private time where we talked. I learned that, like me, she had been married twice before. I also learned that, like me, she had children from her previous marriage.

For the first time in my life, I was ready to let the woman lead. If this was dancing, it was a kind of dance I had never experienced in my life… but I was ready to learn.

Love and Life Learnings

Where we meet people can impact our love lives bigtime. I wrote a book called Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places. Pick your places carefully.

Love often comes to us when we least expect it. Looking for love when we feel lonely and miserable doesn’t usually end well.

Taking time to find ourselves, learn new skills, feel good about ourselves, pays off in many ways — most of them positive.

Most of us get attracted to a certain “type.” That desire may be addictive rather than love-worthy.

When we first met, Carlin was not my type. She was taller than me, older than me, and the chemistry just wasn’t there… but it didn’t take long for quiet sparks of love to get ignited.

We’re still learning to heal old wounds and develop healthy love practices after 46 years. We’re never too old to learn how to love more deeply and well.

In future posts I will talk more about our personal love story and what we continue to learn about living fully, loving deeply, and making a positive difference in the world. I look forward to your comments. Feel free to drop me a note to [email protected] and put “Love Story” in the subject line.

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