How One Father’s Unbreakable Spirit Transformed His Life and Revealed the True Meaning of Love
Ever wonder what it truly means to be a father in today’s whirl of chaos and change? Holding my newborn son Jemal in ’69, I felt this electric mix of joy, relief, and a fierce vow — to be a different kind of dad than the one I had, and to help create a world where men stand fully present with their families, not just physically, but soul-deep. This isn’t just about personal history; it’s about healing wounds passed down silently through generations — those invisible cracks that James Hollis and Roland Warren so poignantly describe. Their words haunt and challenge us: Can a father’s absence, physical or emotional, leave kids with a hole too deep to fill? The answers lie in stories like the one behind *Guys Night*, a film fueled by real-life grit and the messy beauty of fatherhood in a fractured world. Stick around as we dive into this powerful narrative — fueled by passion, resilience, and a promise to do better for the next generation. LEARN MORE
The REAL Vitacco family (Summer 1985):
Frank (rear), Nicky, Vinnie, and Frankie
Being a father has transformed my life since the moment I held my newborn son, Jemal, shortly after his birth on November 21, 1969. Amid tears of joy and relief that both my wife and baby came through the birth process alive and well, I made a vow that I would be a different kind of father than my father was able to be for me and to do everything I could to create a world where men were fully engaged with their families throughout their lives.
I wrote about the healing journey of my father and me in my book, My Distant Dad: Healing the Family Father Wound. At the start of the book, I offered the following quotes that captured the essence of the father wound for me:
“A father may be physically present but absent in spirit. His absence may be literal through death, divorce or dysfunction, but more often it is a symbolic absence through silence and the inability to transmit what he also may not have acquired.” James Hollis
“Kids have a hole in their soul in the shape of their dad. And if a father is unwilling or unable to fill that role, it can leave a wound that is not easily healed.” Roland Warren.
In the introduction I said this:
“There is one problem that surpasses all others in its impact on men, women, and society. It is the family father wound. We focus on the importance of mothers in determining the well-being of children, yet, without the support of their fathers, men become puppets on a string, disconnected from their true selves, feeling that others are controlling their lives. The family father wound may be the most pervasive, most important, and least-recognized problem facing men and their families today.”
In addition to the memoir about how I healed and passed a more healthy legacy to my children, I created a workbook and course for men and women who have experienced the father wound.
Guys Night: A New Film For Everyone Who Cares About the Future of Our Children
It is not surprising that I have a passionate interest in men’s mental, emotional, and relational health or that I would respond positively to the following email I received recently:
Hi Dr. Diamond,
I’m a filmmaker currently raising funds for *Guys Night*, a powerful narrative film inspired by my own childhood — growing up with a single dad in 1980s Chicago. The film explores emotional resilience, masculinity, and fatherhood post-divorce.
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