Kid Cudi’s Raw Confession: How His Own Music Became His Secret Weapon in the Battle for Mental Survival
Ever wonder what it takes for an artist to turn the chaos of their life into a beacon for millions? Kid Cudi’s journey from a small-town kid in Solon, Ohio, to a groundbreaking hip-hop icon isn’t just about beats and melodies—it’s a raw, unfiltered roadmap through battles with depression, addiction, and the quest for inner peace. Inspired by the likes of Kurt Cobain and Pink Floyd, Scott Mescudi didn’t just make music; he crafted anthems for the loners, the lost, and those wrestling with their own shadows. As he’s grown, so has his role—not just as a musician, but as a guide, helping others find light in the darkness. And with his new memoir and latest album, Free, he’s inviting us to walk alongside him in this dance between struggle and joy. Curious about what’s behind the music and mind of Kid Cudi? Dive in and discover the man behind the melodies. LEARN MORE
A KID LIKE CUDI needs room to grow. When he left his hometown of Solon, Ohio, for New York City at 20, it was with a quiet promise that he’d only make music that helped people feel less alone. Inspired by Kurt Cobain’s raw honesty and Pink Floyd’s cinematic brooding, the artist born Scott Mescudi carved a space in hip-hop as an emo doppelgänger for aggro stoners, loners, and cool kids who saw their inner chaos reflected in his. Over time, his role as a pop culture life coach grew. Mescudi’s catalog doubles as a journal of his most turbulent periods—battles with depression, addiction, and suicidal thoughts—all of which he unpacks in his new memoir, Cudi.
Mescudi married Lola Abecassis Sartore in June 2025.
In June, Mescudi married his partner of two years, Lola Abecassis Sartore, in France. The ceremony marked a new chapter of clarity for a man who’d spent a long time feeling unmoored. He also just dropped a new album, Free, an expansive statement of joy. Now 41, he says, “I get bummed when the day is over. I can’t live my life!” We talked to Mescudi about what he was thinking when he wrote these seven songs that capture his evolution—and quest for calm. Plus, we also mixed in insights from Gregory Scott Brown, MD, MH’s mental health advisor and a big fan of Kid Cudi’s music.
“Pursuit of Happiness (Nightmare)”
Man on the Moon: The End of Day / 2009
This song was meant to be a warning. My intention was to show people the chaotic lifestyle I had, and at this point in my life, I’m not happy and I’m looking for a solution in drugs and alcohol. When we remixed it, it took it to a whole other place and became a party anthem. I was like, Fuck, the song is talking about drinking and driving, and this is reckless. If my daughter got caught drinking and driving, I would be furious. It was also supposed to be hopeful. Like, Yeah, this shit is fucked up. But I’ll be fine one day. Could be 15, 20 years from now. I needed people to know that was the quest. It’s to find inner peace. Throughout my whole career, you’ve been listening to me trying to find that.
Dr. Brown’s insight: This reminds me of how physician Halbert Dunn, MD, PhD, the father of the wellness movement, defined wellness in his writings from the 1950s and ’60s. He differentiated “health” as more of a fixed state and “wellness” as a continuum or journey. The quest Kid Cudi describes here is in line with the wellness journey concept.
“Day ’n’ Nite”
Man on the Moon: The End of Day / 2009
I had just broken up with my girlfriend at the time, and I wanted to make my version of Geto Boys’ “Mind Playing Tricks on Me.” Scarface dives into these deep, intense feelings. I took a step back and was like: What haven’t we heard in hip-hop? You hear people talk about smoking weed all the time. But you never really get why they’re smoking weed. So let me bring people in on the psyche of a stoner and what goes through our minds when we roll up that blunt. And also talk about being lonely. So many people in the world are broken and feel the same way that I feel, and that first album was like an SOS, a distress signal, to the world.
Dr. Brown’s insight: Getting to the root of a mental health problem is the heart and soul of psychodynamic psychotherapy. It doesn’t simply ask “What’s the problem?” (smoking too much) but “What’s causing the problem?” (loneliness, etc.). I often tell my patients that some of the most impactful therapy takes place “off the couch” and in between sessions. That’s when you have a chance to chew on some of the types of questions that come up in therapy and ask yourself the “why” questions that Kid Cudi was asking himself here.
“Mr. Rager”
Man on the Moon II: The Legend of Mr. Rager / 2010
With “Mr. Rager,” I was trying to be as honest as possible. This is when I relapsed on cocaine and almost overdosed. It was the first time I was dealing with a darkness I had never dealt with before. As soon as I heard the beat, I knew where I wanted to take it, and the hook came out immediately: “Hey, Mr. Rager, Mr. Rager tell me where you’re going.” I was doing so much cocaine, I couldn’t even sing it. When I would try to hit those notes, my voice would crack. It’s one of my most streamed songs, I think because it perfectly articulates the feeling of someone struggling with their mental health.
“Troubled Boy”
Satellite Flight: The Journey to Mother Moon / 2014
Nobody wants to keep fucking with the fuckup. That’s why I wrote that song. At some point, you grow up. You gotta get off that punk shit. I made a choice internally to fix things, go to rehab, and get the help I needed. I was tired. Like, Man, I want to die. But at the same time, I don’t. I wanted to be the example of somebody who made it through the darkness. I wanted that more than anything. More than dying. Kurt is one of my heroes. I wanted to make it past the part that he couldn’t make it past.
Dr. Brown’s insight: You see the “stages of change” model playing out here: precontemplative, contemplative, preparation, action, maintenance, relapse. When someone is attempting to overcome a behavior that is causing problems (for example, an addiction), they may find themselves cycling through these stages a few times during their quest. We see the relapse in the previous song, and now we see action with him deciding to go to rehab.
“Confused!”
Speedin’ Bullet 2 Heaven / 2015
When I listen back to Speedin’ Bullet, I can’t even imagine being that guy, because today I’m so far removed from it. I was deep, deep into depression and suicidal tendencies. The melody is all happy. But I’m talking about the darkest shit: “All I want is to feel complete.” I’ve had friends tell me they can’t listen to it because they know this shit is autobiographical. It was what I was truly feeling in my mind, in my heart. I wanted to make happy songs, but I couldn’t. “Confused!” is the perfect example: I’m smiling with a knife to my wrist.
Dr. Brown’s insight: This exemplifies how the concept of “he looked so happy, he couldn’t possibly be depressed” is misguided. People who are very depressed and experiencing suicidal thoughts can appear fine. A better indicator here would be to listen to the content of his lyrics. Additionally, talking about a suicide plan, giving away valuable items, and no longer talking about the future are signs that someone may be considering suicide and needs psychiatric intervention. Stats show that men are less likely to seek mental health treatment, and they die by suicide three times as often as women.
“Reborn”
Kids See Ghosts (2018)
Me and Kanye were looking to make something uplifting, spiritual, and positive with Kids See Ghosts, and “Reborn” just came to me. I was still dealing with depression, but I didn’t want to make another sad album. I wanted to write something hopeful. I thought it was the perfect way for me to let the fans know, hey, what you guys have been hearing in my career, those days over. You’re not going to get anything like that anymore. If you want that type of vibe, I have ten albums that sound like that. They’re on your iTunes, your Spotify—you can find them. [Laughs] But what I’m on now is the light. My dark shit wasn’t giving hope. It was like, well, damn, Cudi. It feels like this is all going to end terribly bad. Like, he’s not going to survive after this album.
“The Void”
Man on the Moon III: The Chosen / 2020
I was going through a breakup, and I wasn’t happy with my life. I thought I was going to be married and have more kids, and I wasn’t there yet. Sometimes I wanted to give up. But that’s why I’m still alive, because something was pulling me back into reality. Like, No, you can’t leave, man. You got your mom. You grew up without a dad. You want to do that to your daughter? You want to have more kids. You want to be married. You haven’t found your person yet, but you will. Your very existence is getting people through their lives. I kept thinking to myself, You are important.
“Willing to Trust”
Entergalactic (2022)
In the memoir, I talk about being in relationships where I didn’t know somebody’s intentions. This song is about that moment of being like, I’m going to give myself to this person. I was still single. Still hopeful. Fast forward to me and Lola getting married. It’s the best decision I could have ever made. It’s the best feeling having someone you know is riding with you, no matter what. When I broke my fucking foot, Lola was there riding with me, taking care of me, coming to my appointments. I’ve been dealing with shit alone for years. I’ve been in relationships where I felt like I couldn’t come to my girlfriend and tell them anything. I know that if I’m ever dealing with something, I can come to Lola, and she’ll guide me back to the light every time.
“Grave”
Free / 2025
Every time I drop an album, I’m reminded, Yeah, Scott, you’re meant to be here. It all makes sense now. We’re all balls of clay, and over the years, the sculpture just gets iller and iller and more detailed. It goes from looking like Gumby-type shit to looking like some Greek statue. My musical journey was all about trying to find this moment. This album is tapping into the freedom to create. Finally, I’m back to finding peace in creating.
Dr. Brown’s insight: Some studies show that expressive writing can really help with depression. I’ve had patients who have described to me how writing poetry, journaling, or writing rhymes has helped them process what they are feeling. You can see that playing out with Kid Cudi here as part of his healing process.
This article appears in the September 2025 issue of Men’s Health.
Clover Hope is a Brooklyn-based writer and the author of The Motherlode: 100+ Women Who Made Hip-Hop.
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