HEALTH Women's Health March 22, 2026 0 Comments

Unlock Nedra Glover Tawwab’s Game-Changing Secret to Asking for Help—and Watch How Everyone Says Yes Instantly!

Ever caught yourself biting your lip, wrestling with the idea of asking for help, only to swat the thought away? Yeah, me too — and that’s just human. We often find ourselves tangled in the messy webs of relationships, work pressure, or life’s chaos, thinking the heroic move is to just “push through.” But here’s the kicker: what if that stubborn streak is actually holding us back? Licensed therapist and New York Times bestselling author Nedra Glover Tawwab flips the script on this very notion. In a recent chat on the podcast What Matters with Liz, she sheds light on a surprisingly simple, yet elusive skill we all fumble with — asking for help. Whether it’s your spouse, your sister, or that coworker who barely looks up from their screen, Tawwab’s refreshingly straightforward wisdom might just be the breakthrough your relationships desperately need. Ready to rethink the way you reach out? Let’s dive in. LEARN MORE

Odds are, at some point, you’ve found yourself struggling in your relationships, at work or just in life in general. But while it’s something we’ve all experienced, very few of us actually know how to ask for help. Instead, we often try to just “push through” so we’re not a burden on anyone. But what if we were looking at things the wrong way?

Licensed therapist and New York Times bestselling author Nedra Glover Tawwab has a take on this that might surprise you. In a conversation on the podcast What Matters with Liz, Tawwab breaks down a skill most of us struggle with: how to ask for help. Her advice is refreshingly direct, and it applies to every relationship in your life, from your spouse to your sister to your coworker down the hall.

Before you ask for help, answer this one question

Here’s where Tawwab says most of us stumble, and it happens before we even open our mouths. “I think when you are asking for help, you first need to have some clarity. What is the need?” Tawwab said. “It sounds very basic, but I think many of us notice the gap without noticing the need.”

You know something feels off. You’re stretched too thin, or a relationship feels lopsided or you’re carrying more than your share. You can feel the gap. But have you actually stopped to name the specific need that isn’t being met?

Tawwab compared this to the way people approach boundary-setting: “It’s kind of like with boundaries. It’s like, ‘I’m having all these problems,’ and I’m like, ‘What is your solution?’ Guess what your solution is? That’s your boundary.”

Without that clarity, asking for help becomes almost impossible. How can you tell someone what you need when you haven’t figured it out yourself?

The part about asking for help that scares us

So you’ve identified the need. Now comes the hard part. “We have to have that clarity, and we have to have the willingness to have the conversation with another person around what we want. We have to communicate, and we can’t keep that need inside,” Tawwab said.

If reading that made your stomach tighten a little, you’re not alone. Tawwab knows that fear is the biggest thing standing between most people and the conversations they need to have.

“Very often in our relationships, we’re afraid to have a conversation. We fear how a person might respond, and it keeps us in a scenario where we’re like, ‘Oh my gosh, this need won’t be met,’” Tawwab said. “And we haven’t given them the opportunity. We have to be brave, and we have to get out there and ask.”

That last part is worth sitting with. How many times have you wished your partner, your adult child, your friend would just know what you needed without you having to spell it out? Tawwab’s point is clear: The people around us often can’t meet our needs if we never tell them what those needs are. Giving them the chance starts with having the courage to speak up.

How to ask for help: Your two-step plan

Tawwab’s approach boils down to a framework you can use right now, in whatever relationship is weighing on you: First, get clear on the need. Recognizing that something feels wrong is not the same as identifying what you actually need. Take the time to define it before you go any further.

Then communicate. Fear of how someone might react keeps so many needs locked inside. But an unspoken need is unlikely to be met. Give the people in your life the opportunity to show up for you—they may surprise you.

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This content is not a substitute for professional medical advice or diagnosis. Always consult your physician before pursuing any treatment plan.