Women's Health March 21, 2026 0 Comments

Why Men Struggle After Losing a Spouse — While Women Surprisingly Thrive: The Untold Health Secret Revealed!

Losing a spouse—it’s one of those gut punches life throws at you when you least expect it. But here’s the kicker: turns out men might actually take a harder hit physically and mentally compared to women after this kind of loss. Sounds counterintuitive, right? You’d think grief would wear everyone down equally, but a fresh study from Japan tells a different story. While widowed women often see spikes in happiness and life satisfaction later on, men show worrying declines in health and social support. It makes you wonder: is it all about how we lean on each other when life falls apart—or are dudes just wired to struggle in silence? If you’ve ever been curious why losing a partner hits men and women so differently, this is a deep dive you’ll want to stick around for. Because, spoiler alert—it’s not just about heartbreak; it’s about how we build the safety nets that catch us when we fall. LEARN MORE

4 min read

A new study using data from Japan suggests that men’s health appears to be more negatively affected after the loss of a spouse compared to women’s. Earlier studies examining American and Danish populations have also reported similar findings.
Widowed women reported increases in happiness and life satisfaction in later years.
Experts say the findings underline the importance of having a social network and support.

The loss of a spouse is usually a devastating, life-altering experience that affects the entire family. But a new study suggests there may be gendered differences in how some people move on after spousal loss—and why some seem to wind up healthier than others.

New research published in the Journal of Affective Disorders found that, in general, older men were more likely to experience poorer physical and mental health after the death of a partner. On the other hand, women reported healthier outcomes following the loss of their spouse.

There are some caveats to consider, including that everyone deals with grief differently. The study used data collected in Japan, which may limit how directly the findings apply to U.S. populations, as the culture and rituals of grief can vary greatly from country to country.

Still, experts who work with patients who have lost a partner say there’s some takeaway from this. Here’s what they want you to know.

Meet the experts: Aaron P. Brinen, PsyD, assistant professor of Psychiatry & Behavioral Sciences at Vanderbilt University Medical Center; Koichiro Shiba, PhD, study co-author and assistant professor of Epidemiology at Boston University; Kenjiro Kawaguchi, MD, MPH, lead study author and researcher at the Center for Preventive Medical Sciences at Chiba University in Chiba, Japan; Hugh R. Oberholtzer, LCSW, senior primary therapist with Penn Medicine Princeton House Behavioral Health.

What did the study find?

For the study, researchers analyzed data from nearly 26,000 participants in the Japan Gerontological Evaluation Study. Of those, 1,076 lost a spouse. The researchers examined 37 health outcomes following spousal loss, breaking down differences by gender and by the duration of the outcomes.

They discovered that while both men and women who had lost a spouse were more socially active after their partner’s death, only men had a drop in social support. This suggested that socializing wasn’t always equal to the emotional support and connection men needed while they grieved.

And while women generally seemed to fare better than men after the death of their spouse, this didn’t preclude women from also suffering negative health outcomes: Where men reported they started drinking more after spousal loss, women became more sedentary.

Compared to men who weren’t widowed, men who lost a spouse were at a higher risk for dementia, depression, and a drop in happiness. But these higher risks faded over time.

On the other hand, the women didn’t have an increase in symptoms of depression and typically reported an increase in happiness and life satisfaction that lasted for years.

This isn’t the only research to suggest this association

A 2024 study of 290 Americans found that widowed men were impacted more strongly by the loss of their partner than widowed women were. The year before, a 2023 study of people in Denmark determined that widowed men were 70 percent more likely to die than those of the same age who didn’t lose a spouse. By comparison, widowed women were 27 percent more likely to die compared to women who did not lose a spouse.

“The general pattern—men facing greater health risks after spousal loss—has been consistently observed in US-based studies as well,” says Kenjiro Kawaguchi, MD, MPH, lead study author and researcher at the Center for Preventive Medical Sciences at Chiba University in Chiba, Japan. “The core mechanisms—men’s reliance on spousal support, smaller social networks, and differences in coping—seem not unique to Japan.”

Why might women do better after the loss of a spouse?

There are a few things to unpack here. “The effect of spousal loss on well-being is likely a product of psychological reactions to losing one’s loved one, disruptive changes in social connectedness, and other social environments that may modify the effects of spousal loss,” says Koichiro Shiba, PhD, study co-author and Assistant Professor of Epidemiology at Boston University.

Shiba points out that men who focused heavily on work during their lives may not have had the opportunity to grow social connections, which can leave them isolated when they lose a spouse. “Women, on the other hand, may have carried a disproportionate caregiving burden,” he explains. “Addressing these underlying imbalances in gendered social roles could be beneficial for both men and women.”

“Oftentimes you’ll find that women are involved more in keeping social events and organizing the schedule of a couple,” says Aaron P. Brinen, PsyD, assistant professor of Psychiatry & Behavioral Sciences at Vanderbilt University Medical Center. While much has already been said about the emotional labor that falls on women, it seems that an unbalanced burden might actually insulate women socially in this instance.

Men may also struggle to convey how they’re feeling in the wake of grief, says Hugh R. Oberholtzer, LCSW, senior primary therapist with Penn Medicine Princeton House Behavioral Health. “Many men grow up with messages such as ‘boys don’t cry’ or ‘keep it together’ which can limit emotional expression and make it harder to seek support,” he explains.

A lifetime of such emotional repression may also mean that the only person a man feels comfortable being emotionally open with is their spouse. “When that person is gone, he may find himself without a trusted outlet for grief, which can intensify distress and isolation,” says Oberholtzer. However, he adds that he notices men are usually willing to open up about their feelings when they’re asked to share them.

The takeaway

Ultimately, the findings and similar research underscore the importance of fostering a social network as you age, says Brinen. “Finding your community and making connections is important,” he says. “That’s going to buffer you from a spousal loss because you have a built-in social network.”

Korin Miller is a freelance writer specializing in general wellness, sexual health and relationships, and lifestyle trends, with work appearing in Men’s Health, Women’s Health, Self, Glamour, and more. She has a master’s degree from American University, lives by the beach, and hopes to own a teacup pig and taco truck one day.