Why Most Will Sink When Civilization Crumbles—but These Powerful Moves Will Keep You Riding High and Unstoppable

Have you ever stopped to wonder what it feels like to be on a massive ocean liner hurtling forward, blissfully unaware that it’s sinking beneath your feet? No drama? No Titanic-themed tragedy? Just that quiet, creeping realization that everything we’ve built—our so-called civilization—is actually a precarious ship, filling up with water from below. Now, don’t freak out just yet; I’m not here to crash your day but to unpack what it really means to face this truth head-on. You see, most folks either bury their heads in the sand, hoping for some magical rescue or get lost blaming someone else for the chaos. But what if there’s a third way—harder, sure, but way more empowering? Over thirty years ago, I had this wakeup call that changed everything. It’s a story about recognizing the sinking ship we’re all on, then choosing to row away on your own lifeboat toward a new, thriving way of living—beyond the old, broken dominator model of civilization. Intrigued? You should be. Because this isn’t just about survival; it’s about thriving and discovering your own path of service in this wild age of collapse and possibility. Ready to dive in? LEARN MORE

                You don’t even have to watch the news to know that things are not going well in our world. The signs of collapse are all around us. There are two ways most people respond: (1) Close your eyes, put your head in the sand, and pretend that all is well, or hope that some magical solution will be invented to fix things quickly and easily (2) Redirect your fear, rage and despair to someone or something you can blame for our problems, or try and escape into one diverting fantasy after another and temporarily calm your nerves.

                There is another choice that is more effective, but not for the faint of heart. It begins when we face the truth about our present situation. I got my own wakeup call more than thirty years ago. Here’s how I described it in my latest book, Long Live Men! The Moonshot Mission to Heal Men, Close the Lifespan Gap, and Offer Hope to Humanity:

                “In 1993 I attended a Men’s Leaders’ Conference in Indianapolis, Indiana. One of the activities offered was a traditional Native-American sweat lodge ceremony where we ask for guidance and support for ourselves and our communities. I had the following life-changing vision.

                We are all on a huge ocean liner. Everything we know and have ever known is on the ship. People are born and die. Goods and services are created, wars are fought, and elections are held and disputed. Species come into being and face extinction. The ship steams on and on, and there is no doubt that it will continue on its present course forever.

                There are many decks on the ship, starting way down in the boiler room where the poorest and grimiest toil to keep the ship going. As you ascend the decks, things get lighter and easier. The people who run the ship have suites on the very top deck. Their job, as they see it, is to keep the ship going and keep those on the lower decks in their proper places. Since they are at the top, they are sure they deserve to acquire more and more of the resources of the earth.

                Everyone on the lower decks aspires to get up to the next deck and hungers to get to the very top. That’s the way it is. That’s the way it has always been. That’s the way it will always be. However, there are a few people who realize that something very strange is happening. What they come to know is that the ship is sinking. At first, like everyone else, they can’t believe it. The ship has been afloat since time before time. It is the best of the best. That it could sink is unthinkable. Nonetheless, they are sure the ship is sinking.

                They try to warn the people, but no one believes them. The ship cannot be sinking, and anyone who thinks so must be mentally ill. When they persist in trying to warn the people of what they are facing, those in charge of the ship silence them and lock them up. The ship’s media keeps grinding out news stories describing how wonderful the future will be. Any problems that are occurring will surely be solved with the wonders of our civilized, technological lifestyle.

                The leaders of the ship smile, wave, and promise prosperity for all. But water is beginning to seep in from below. The higher the water rises, the more frightened the people become and the more frantically they scramble to get to the upper decks. Some believe it is the end and actually welcome the prospect of the destruction of life as we know it. They believe it is the fulfillment of religious prophesy. Others become increasingly irritable, angry, and depressed. Like caged rats they bite their own tails and those of their cage mates who appear to be a threat.

                But as the water rises, those who have been issuing the warnings can no longer be silenced. More people escape confinement and lead others toward the lifeboats. Though there are enough boats for all, many people are reluctant to leave the ship. Many questions are asked. “The old stories tell us that we’ve been on this ship for more than six thousand years, isn’t it safer to stay aboard? Could things really be so bad that we must leave? Where will we go? Who will lead us? What if this is all there is?”

                Nevertheless, the Ship is sinking. Many people go over the side and are lowered down to the boats. As they descend, they are puzzled to see lettering on the side of the ship: T-I-T-A-N-I-C. When they reach the lifeboats, many are frightened and look for someone who looks like they know what to do. They’d like to ride with those people.

                However, they find that each person must get into their own boat and row away from the ship in their own direction. If they don’t get away from the ship as soon as possible, they will be pulled down with it. When everyone who wants to leave, each in their own boats, rowing in their own direction, reaches their own place in the ocean, they begin to create a new, partnership, web. It will be the basis for a new way of life that will replace the life that was lived on the old ship of civilization.“

Here’s What I’ve Learned That Has Helped Me Survive and Thrive

                1. “Civilization” is a misnomer. Its proper name is the “Dominator Model.” 

                In her international best-selling book, The Chalice & The Blad: Our History. Our Future, originally published in 1987, historian Riane Eisler said,

                “Underlying the great surface diversity of human culture are two basic models of society. The first I call the dominator model, what is popularly termed either patriarchy or matriarchy — the ranking of one half of humanity over the other. The second, in which social relations are primarily based on the principle of linking may best be described as the partnership model.”

                You can view my podcast with Riane and her team at the Center for Partnership Systems here.

                2. There is a better world beyond civilization.

                In 1992, I was given the book Ishmael, by Daniel Quinn. I got a clear sense of the two worlds that are competing for our attention: A world where hierarchy and dominance rule (Quinn calls it the world of the Takers) and a world where equality and connection rule (Quinn calls it the world of the Leavers. In his book, Beyond Civilization: Humanity’s Next Great Adventure, Quinn says,

                “Beyond civilization isn’t a geographical space up in the mountains or on some remote isle. It’s a cultural space that opens up among people with new minds.”

                This is not a time to give up. It is time to reach out!

                3. Do not lose heart. We were made for these times.

                Clarissa Pinkola Estes, author of Women Who Run with the Wolves, wrote this inspiring letter to all of us who are concerned about the future. She said in part:

                “My friends, do not lose heart. We were made for these times. I have heard from so many recently who are deeply and properly bewildered. They are concerned about the state of affairs in our world now. Ours is a time of almost daily astonishment and often righteous rage over the latest degradations of what matters most to civilized, visionary people.

                “I grew up on the Great Lakes and recognize a seaworthy vessel when I see one. Regarding awakened souls, there have never been more able vessels in the waters than there are right now across the world. And they are fully provisioned and able to signal one another as never before in the history of humankind.

                “Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach.”

                4. Rethink our relationship with planet Earth.

                According to world-renowned author and social scientist, Jeremy Rifkin,

                “We have long believed that we live on a land planet, when in reality we live on a water planet, and now the Earth’s hydrosphere is taking us into a mass extinction as it searches for a new normal.”

                In his important and timely book, Planet Aqua: Rethinking Our Home in the Universe, Rifkin says that we must give up our belief that it is our duty to dominate and control nature and reconnect as partners in all life on Earth. He says,

                “We must rethink the waters as a ‘life source’ rather than another ‘resource’ to exploit and learn to adapt to the hydrosphere rather than trying to get the hydrosphere to adapt to us.”

                5. Find your tribe outside the confines of civilization.

                The rulers of civilization would have us believe that even if the Ship is sinking, we might as well go down with it because there really are no better choices. That is the big lie of civilization. As my vision showed me, there are millions of alternatives and more and more lifeboats in the water every day, but you won’t learn about them in the corporate-controlled media. You can learn more here.

                6. Claim your path of service.

                We must act now, or we will be swept away by the currents of change. In her book, Who Do We Choose to Be? Facing Reality, Claiming Leadership, Restoring Sanity, my longtime colleague and friend, Margaret J. Wheatley says,

                “My aspiration is for you to see clearly so that you may act wisely. If we don’t know where we are, if we don’t know what to prepare for, then any path we choose will keep us wandering in the wilderness, increasingly desperate, increasingly lost.”

                Margaret sent me a recent email:

                “I am grateful to announce a new, self-paced course available starting October 5, 2025, Claiming Your Path of Service: Choosing to Serve This Age of Collapse and Possibility, developed with the extraordinary platform Advaya.life.”

                If you would like to learn more about my own work, I invite you to join me at MenAlive.com