Women's Health April 24, 2026 0 Comments

Unlock the Mental Muscle: The Untold Secrets to Rewiring Your Brain for a Rock-Solid Body Image

Ever caught yourself scrolling endlessly through your feed, flicking between filters, and wondering when your body image became this complicated puzzle? In 2026, with GLP-1s making waves, AI filters playing tricks, and social media comparisons popping up like uninvited guests, the conversation around body image isn’t just evolving—it’s downright crucial for your mental well-being. It’s like your brain’s on a workout plan of its own, and trust me, retraining it is a game-changer. Rachel Goldman, PhD, a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at New York University, dives deep into this mind-body dance in her new book, When Life Happens. She’s not sugarcoating it—your thoughts hold the power to either stall you or launch you forward, and the good news? Your mindset is far from fixed. Ready to challenge the narrative and shift the lens through which you see yourself? Let’s get into how small tweaks can build lasting confidence and help you reclaim the story you tell about your body. LEARN MORE

6 min read

In 2026, the body conversation is shifting fast with GLP-1s on the scene, AI filters everywhere, and social media scrolls (and comparisons) that seem endless. Relearning a positive body image at this point isn’t just a nice-to-have—it’s critical maintenance for mental health. Here, Rachel Goldman, PhD, a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at New York University, walks you through how to train your brain in an excerpt from her new book, When Life Happens….

Your thoughts and how you view yourself play a large role in what happens in your life. If you don’t think you can do something, you probably won’t. It’s not that you can’t, but your thoughts will get in the way of your actually moving forward.

We aren’t born with a certain self-image or a certain level of self-esteem, self-worth, self-confidence, or even a certain body image. These fluctuate over time and are based on several factors. It’s your mindset, though, that shapes how you see yourself and your ability to make tweaks. If you believe these are all fixed, and you can’t change or improve them, you are going to feel stuck and even discouraged.

When we adopt a growth mindset, we allow space for tweaks to happen. We start noticing that small, consistent efforts (those small tweaks) lead to change, and that improves how we view ourselves (our self-image, our self-confidence, our self-esteem, and body image). Building this confidence takes time, and you’ve probably heard the phrase “fake it until you make it.” I’m not going to necessarily tell you to do that, but there is some truth to the phrase.

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Body image isn’t just about liking, or not liking, what you see in the mirror.

It’s deeper than that, and if there was one thing I wish more people knew about body image, it’s this: Body image isn’t about how your body looks. It’s about how you think and feel about your body.

Body image encompasses more than just your physical appearance. It includes how you see your own body, how you believe others perceive you, what you believe about your body (including your memories, assumptions, and generalizations), how you feel about your body (including your height, shape, and weight), and how you physically experience or feel in your body.

You may be surprised by this, but body image doesn’t depend on numbers; it depends on your perception of yourself. You can struggle with body image no matter your size, weight, or shape. There isn’t a weight that you hit and then think, Oh, I have a great body image now. Wouldn’t it be so nice if it worked that way? Well, unfortunately, it doesn’t.

We give the scale, and that number, so much power, but why? Instead, it gives us a number, and the number immediately makes us feel a certain way. And remember, since your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are all linked—that number just dictated how your day is going to go.

When Life Happens: The Mindset Shift You Need to Manage Stress, Build Confidence, and Break Free

So what if we took back control? What if you take the time to turn inward and think about how you see yourself and how you feel in your own skin? It’s not about the number. It’s about how you feel in your body moving around this world.

If you choose to weigh yourself—and each person is different and may choose to or not to for different reasons—first pause and ask yourself this question: How do I feel in my body right now? This is important because regardless of what the scale says, you can remind yourself of what you said before you saw that number, and in time, this will help you separate the number from the feeling at that moment. Remember, the number on the scale does not determine your self-worth. It’s just a number, and that’s that.

A silhouette of a person underwater with sunlight reflecting off the surface.

Jenny Gage and Tom Betterton/Trunk Archive

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Nothing is wrong with you for not loving your body or even not seeing yourself as your truest self.

But because our brains crave order and meaning, we have an instinct to assign blame—even when something isn’t clearly our fault. This comes from a deep psychological need to make sense of it all.

There is evidence that shows body image concerns develop from individuals internalizing and comparing themselves to society’s unrealistic and unattainable ideals about the body, which are often amplified by diet culture. Starting at a young age, we internalize the messages that are around us.

We then take all of these messages and experiences and we come up with a story. The stories that we tell ourselves, which are based on the messages that we internalize, help us understand exactly who we are and give us a sense of how we belong in this world.

Just like any story, they can be questioned, tweaked, and even rewritten. “Why is it that sometimes I look in the mirror and feel totally fine about my self-image, and other times, I see something completely different, even though nothing has changed?” This is a question that I often get, and the main reason is, again, that self-image and body image isn’t just about what you see, it’s about how you feel, and to be more specific, it’s about how you feel in that moment when you are looking in the mirror.

None of these things are telling us the truest story, but they are all making up the image that you see in the mirror. It’s not about your body changing; it’s about shifting the way you see your body. It’s about shifting the lens and realizing that sometimes the lens isn’t clear or true.

Since this is a process, and like I said, it’s not a one-time mindset shift, you are probably thinking, Where do I start? It all starts by noticing. Start by just noticing how you view yourself and how you talk about your body and to your body.

Change doesn’t happen by speaking negatively toward ourselves. Shaming someone, or even yourself, doesn’t necessarily lead to change. Speaking negatively doesn’t motivate us; it just makes us feel worse. Our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are all linked, so be mindful of the words you are using when you are speaking to yourself. (You are listening!)

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We need to first challenge the narrative before we can make the shift and create a new one.

Most of the things we say to ourselves we would never say to a friend. One of the best hacks is to ask yourself, Would I say that to a friend or a loved one?

Although we can’t always control that first thought, we can learn to challenge it or respond to it differently. In time, the automatic thought may be a bit kinder. To expand on this “friend hack,” we can use that supportive perspective to help ourselves move from a place of self-criticism to self-compassion.

Identify the thought and observe it with curiosity, asking where this thought is coming from, and understand that it may not be a helpful thought.
Ask yourselfif this thought is helpful or not. Does it make you feel good? Most likely not. Can you challenge the thought? Is it realistic, is there evidence for/against it? Similarly, you could ask yourself if you would say this to a close friend or loved one. Again, most likely not.
Reframe that thought into a more neutral and compassionate thought.
Practice. You may not completely believe this reframed thought just yet, and that’s okay.… Over time, this way of thinking, and speaking to yourself with more kindness, will become more natural and automatic the more you practice it. It’s a skill that you need to practice, just like a muscle that we build and strengthen.

With practice, you will be retraining your brain to think differently. By utilizing self-talk to shift the way you are thinking about yourself and your body, you can begin to let go of the messages you once internalized that led to shame and blame (toward yourself and others) and create a new, compassionate body image narrative—but it doesn’t happen overnight.

Feeling better about your body doesn’t always mean loving it. Sometimes it means respecting it, even on the tough days. Remember: In order to retrain our brain, we need repetition.

I encourage you to participate in daily micropractices. These are small things that you can do to help shift your perception. These are things like daily affirmations and showing gratitude for your body. Remind yourself of what your body does for you. Look in the mirror and say kind words to yourself. If you need reminders, you can use sticky notes. Write something like “My legs allow me to walk to/from the store” on a sticky note and put it on your mirror so it’s the first thing you see.

If you find yourself speaking negative words toward yourself, try to reframe it in a way that is more helpful. Be the best friend that is going to hype you up.

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Courtesy of Subject

You can learn more from Rachel Goldman on Instagram at @DrRachelNYC

This excerpt has been adapted with permission from the publisher, Wiley, from When Life Happens: The Mindset Shift You Need to Manage Stress, Build Confidence, and Break Free by Rachel L. Goldman, PhD. Copyright © 2026 by Rachel Goldman. All rights reserved.