Men's Health June 22, 2026 0 Comments

The Shocking Truth Behind Why Our Relationships Are Crumbling – And the Hardcore Fix You Can Start Today

Ever catch yourself wondering how honesty became such a rare gem in today’s world bursting with digital fakery and blurred truths? After more than fifty years as a marriage and family counselor, I can tell you—it’s far more tangled than you’d think, especially when deception runs deep in our personal stories. Born into a web of secrets and raised amidst tales of uninhibited love in Greenwich Village, my journey through broken relationships and healing has given me a front-row seat to the delicate dance between trust and betrayal. Now, as I delve into Christian B. Miller’s compelling insights on “The Honesty Crisis,” I’m struck by how much this virtue we hold dear is buckling under pressure—from fake news to online infidelity, the challenges are everywhere. If you’ve ever wondered what it really takes to keep honesty alive—especially in love—stick around, because this conversation might just reshape how you see truth in your own life. LEARN MORE

I have been a psychotherapist and marriage and family counselor for more than fifty years. I feel blessed to have a career where I can help men and women to live more fully authentic lives, to love deeply, and to make a positive difference in the world. Yet, the truth is much more personal and complicated.

I was born in deception, a story I never learned until I was an adult and had gone through two divorces and written a book about my conflicted love life — Looking For Love in All the Wrong Places: Overcoming Romantic and Sexual Addictions.

My mother and father met in 1928 in New York’s Greenwich Village. He was twenty-two and an aspiring actor. She had just turned twenty and longed to write the great American novel.

They told me stories of The Village when they arrived as a hub for artists, writers, and musicians. The area was alive with progressive ideas and radical politics, attracting artists and intellectuals of all kinds. Like my own growing up in San Francisco in the 1960s, experimental lifestyles and free love was in the air.

My mother told me there was another man in her life back then, a young newspaper reporter working for the New York Times. Long after my father and she were divorced, she admitted she had a number of lovers that she kept secret.

When people visit me at MenAlive they see my welcome video, “Confession of a Twice-Divorced Marriage Counselor.” In my book, Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places, I share the ways in which deception and addictions have impacted my love life. In my book, The Enlightened Marriage: The 5 Transformative Stages of Relationships and Why the Best is Still to Come, I share my healing journey.

The Honesty Crisis: Preserving Our Most Treasured Virtue in an Increasingly Dishonest World

I recently had the opportunity to interview Christian B. Miller, author of the book The Honesty Crisis: Preserving Our Most Treasured Virtue in an Increasingly Dishonest World. I asked him to give me a little background about himself and his work. Here’s what he told me:

“I live in Winston-Salem, North Carolina with my amazing wife and three children. I have been incredibly fortunate to spend the last twenty years at Wake Forest University, where I am now the A. C. Reid Professor of Philosophy. My research primarily has to do with virtue and moral character, and for ten years I was the leader of The Character Project and The Honesty Project, two of the largest research projects in the world on these topics.

In addition to my academic writings, I have a new popular book forthcoming in May, The Honesty Crisis: Preserving Our Most Treasured Virtue in an Increasingly Dishonest World to go along with an earlier trade book, The Character Gap: How Good Are We? I was a science contributor for Forbes, and have written for The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Dallas Morning News, Slate, The Conversation, Newsweek, Aeon, and Christianity Today.”

I found the book and Christian Miller’s work to be timely and important. He says that honesty is eroding at a frightening rate in many areas of society today, as we are confronted with a number of honesty crises:

The frequency of deepfakes has skyrocketed, now that they are simple to make and untraceable.

In education, many students are using AI to complete their writing assignments with little chance of detection.

In politics, social media helps with the dissemination of fake news, and polarization reduces our tendency to condemn political dishonesty if it aligns with our own views.

In public spaces, it is easier to become a celebrity than it has ever been in human history, and yet celebrity encourages greater dishonesty.

In religion, religious leaders are increasingly confronted by temptations to plagiarize sermon material from the Internet and AI.

In our relationships, with the easy availability of online pornography, anonymous chatrooms, and infidelity websites like Ashley Madison, cheating in a relationship has never been easier.

The section on relationships was particularly relevant to the work I do with clients. Miller says,

“If there is anything discussed in this book that has been around forever, it is infidelity, both sexual and emotional. Wherever there are exclusive romantic relationships, there is also the threat of cheating. But the rise of the Internet has changed things for the worse here.”

People long to have relationships that last through time, but they are becoming increasingly difficult. I feel fortunate to have learned what makes relationships last and how to keep them alive and well. My wife, Carlin, and I shared what we have learned in my book, The Enlightened Marriage: The 5 Transformative Stages of Relationships and Why the Best is Still to Come.

You can learn more about The Honesty Crisis and the work of Christian Miller by visiting his website: https://christianbmiller.com/the-honesty-crisis/

You can watch my interview with Christian Miller here.

If you would like to get more information about my own work helping men and the women who love them, come visit me at https://menalive.com/